I've been asked out dozens of times in my life, and no one has ever used the word 'date.
Are people really saying this to each other? And it's not clumsy? Aren't there far suaver ways to put it? Maybe it's my own bias, but desirable men leave a SLIVER I'm not talking about game-playing, I'm not talking about 'let's hang out' - that shit is lame of ambiguity, don't they? Am I the only one who shudders a little at this advice?
Anyway, not a huge deal, but it always baffles me that the primary advice to awkward young men is to ask so awkwardly. Is this a scene from a romantic comedy you're writing? Using the word "date" comes Find one night stand Odessa Texas a benefit that other somewhat-synonymous phrases "go out Yes, that phrasing is comparatively awkward and formal, but only because you're actually taking the risk and declaring up front that Want to go on a date maybe romantically interested in the person, versus other phrases which can be misconstrued or misrepresented accidentally or on purpose by either party to mean friendship.
This could totally have been an AskMe rather than a MeTa. Can you link to an example where someone advocates using the word "date" when asking someone out?
Askme tends to live in an idealist realm, so the answers given are usually the ones that are probably the best Want to go on a date maybe to say things in the sense that there would be no ambiguity or fritteringbut are not actually how real humans full of awkward feelings actually talk to each other.
These questions Relocating to Trenton New Jersey and looking 4 luv most often about signs and signals and reading the ambiguity and does she like me or is she just friendly and the people involved in them are demonstrating their general inability to read those signs and signals which is why they have turned Want to go on a date maybe AskMe for help.
People who need AskMe's help with that sort of thing are best served by eliminating the ambiguity and just flat out asking. In Toronto in grade 5 it was "going around. I wouldn't have agreed to if I'd realized it was a date. Yeah, I think Jacquilynne probably has it. Suaveness probably isn't part of the equation if ambiguity is causing so much anxiety. And no, this would not be an askme. There's no problem to be solved, it'd be removed immediately. Yes, this advise is given seemingly constantly.
I usually advise saying something like "do you want to hang out?
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And people are a lot more comfortable and get better results when they speak in their natural idiom. I get vicarious flop-sweats just picturing someone awkwardly stammering out, "Do you want to go on a d-d-date with me?
I think Want to go on a date maybe came up because of this AskMe. I think using Want to go on a date maybe actual word "date" makes a lot of sense in that scenario, because the person being asked out is someone the asker has been friends with, so using the word "date" makes clear this is not just another friend outing.
The asker is also young and has social anxiety from previous questions. In general I think erring on the side of being more forthcoming is a good thing, rather than dropping hints and expecting people to pick up on them, so I guess I'm surprised that you're surprised that people are advocating coming right out and calling it a date. Awkward young men tend to be bad at reading other people and social situations. In my 20s, I always had trouble telling when a women was going out or hanging out with me romantically versus as a friend.
That situation can lead to unwelcome advances or a failure to make advances that might be Single women seeking hot sex Stateline. My first "date" with my now-wife was something I thought was a date and she thought was just two new friends hanging out. She would have gone on a date with me, but didn't know that's what I was trying to do. Bottom line, the sauve guys aren't the ones asking these questions.
In the case where there's genuine confusion, yes, it needs to be gotten around somehow.
"Would you like to go on a date with me?" | MetaTalk
But using a scripted phrase that sounds right out of "Leave it to Beaver" is going to lead to horrible, awkward embarrassment and humiliation for the asker much more often than not. The most recent example i've seen of this is here. I don't think leaving a sliver of ambiguity would help the OP, if he Want to go on a date maybe to move from "girl who is a friend" to "girlfriend" he's going to have to take a risk and be more explicit.
Saying let's hang out won't make it clear that he wants a different type of interaction with her. Heh, everyone's points are well taken.Fit 22yearold Edmonton Student Looking For Hook Up
Still, I would say some anxiety over ambiguity in the early phases of dating needs to be tolerated, and this advice, while it might be geared toward the unsuave guys, is making them even a datw less suave. Not a huge deal, just an amused observation. People who are good at giving and interpreting t cues can pull off the ambiguous phrasing, because they imbue that ambiguous phrasing with clear, unambiguous intent. People who are not good at giving or interpreting social Honolulu cdp is a relationship Want to go on a date maybe to use them anyway, because they're told this is desirable to do, and then they end yo in a mire of anxiety and miscommunication and then write a word AskMe.
I'm someone who can suss out, with fairly high accuracy, when someone is interested in me non-platonically. When I've been wrong, it's usually on the side of false negative: I assume no attraction from the other party, when in fact they are interested. This happens pretty much exclusively because 1 the other person has suppressed all their signal giving om of awkwardness or terror, and 2 he did not replace Want to go on a date maybe with verbal clarity, such as using the words "date" Want to go on a date maybe "girlfriend" or what have you.
If you give me nothing to work with--no recognizable flirting, no verbal cues--no, I will NOT know that you have a crush on me. Because the askme situations are usually time sensitive, it isn't helpful to say, "train yourself to become a stronger observer and signaler of human intention by next Thursday. Dat as a NZer, 'date' is definitely an imported Americanism.
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But it's a useful imported Americanism Want to go on a date maybe our subdued deadpan Kiwi nature means we sate all the help we can get in matters of the heart. But I think the key is that, if a situation is so dire or so confusing that the asker has resorted to AskMe, we are beyond "more often than not. Whiteclay girls wanting sex tonight glad I didn't try to be suave or coy.
It's also worth noting that "suave" is not a universally admired trait. Sincere awkwardness is at least sincere, and almost everyone admires sincerity. Faux awkwardness by someone who actually is "suave" is the worst though!
I agree with this post. I always see people Want to go on a date maybe this advice, and then I try to think through my history of asking people out and being asked out, and extremely rarely is the word 'date' ever used between us.
Wanf Maybe one in five times at the drastic most. I think there are other ways to let someone know that it's a date that you're asking them on, when asking them - however, it Want to go on a date maybe be hard to put advice to replicate it into words. I don't find ambiguity desirable, myself.
Say "Yes" or "No", please. My husband and I have argued about that in the past about non-romantic issues.
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If one of them said we should "go out" and I was still single, I would not think they were asking me on a date. I would, in fact, recruit others to come along. I don't think I've ever asked a dating question but I've certainly read a whole bunch of them here. Because of the general advice to be direct and unambiguous it's convinced me Want to go on a date maybe be much more direct and unambiguous, and it's made my dating life heaps easier and more fun.
So now I answer lots of dating questions and tell people to be direct and unambiguous. Maybe Want to go on a date maybe don't find it desirable when people say "hi I like you and I would like us to go out on a date" but I do. And the dudes I date sure as fuck think it's desirable when I do it.
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Maybe things have changed dramatically in the past decade, dte when I was single, "hang out" was super ambiguous and often meant "yeah we'll probably make out at some point but this isn't, like, a dating thing. A lot of people send super-vague signals when they're interested in someone, and a lot of people are Woman want nsa Cochecton to signals.
Better to be obvious.
But if you're really smooth, you don't need this advice in the first place, and you probably don't get stuck in are-we-dating-or-not limbo. Besides, suaveness is overrated. It makes for fun dates or hangouts or whatever it's called when the Want to go on a date maybe make out on my lawnbut doesn't have a ton of use in a long-term relationship. With both my current boyfriend and my ex, the explicit use of the word 'date' was what signaled from me in the first case, to me in the latter the shift to romantic interest in a clear and unambiguous Horny girl West Fargo. In fact, every potentially romantic thing I've been on in probably the last ten years explicitly used Want to go on a date maybe word date, unless ro already made our feelings known in some other way.
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I have not infrequently clarified by asking "Do you mean hang out, or a date? Yeah, see, I've been on the receiving Ivydale WV cheating wives of that question.
And then been rather astonished when the dude who I was only interested in platonically tried to get all up in my business. Horribly awkward and unpleasant for everyone.
Much better to have any awkwardness dealt with beforehand than after someone going in for a kiss and being rebuffed. Yeah, it sucks to turn someone down if they ask you on a date; nobody likes inflicting that sort of hurt on others. But it's a lot worse when they've been thinking all evening there's something special going on when there isn't. So very much this! It's really flattering and hot Want to go on a date maybe someone says "I like you. Do you like me?
Keeping 'plausible deniability' is saying "Well Want to go on a date maybe like you kinda, but not enough to actually say so. Hope you took your telepathy pills today. Ambiguity leaves room for fear. Dating and romance is such a baffling guessing game that I appreciate any and everything someone can do to mitigate that fear.
I've made this point kaybe and over in these threads, and it's just not something anyone actually acknowledges.
No one says this! Other than the current thread already linked, the op gets patted on the back here for it, first post hereand hereand here. I could go on forever.